2 posts from January 2008

One of my favorite students is a student that I've only just had for this year.  "Q" is so inspiring to me partially because of his situation last year.  He takes me for English III and English IV and has the highest grade in both classes.  But he is classified as a 10th grader.  One day last semester, I asked "Q" about the situation, knowing that he was way too smart to have tried and failed English III.  He explained to me that during last school year he was suspended quite often for fighting.  It was actually severe enough, he said, that some of the students' parents pressed charges and the police issued a warrant for his arrest.  If he came to school, he would go to jail.  So he simply stopped coming.  He failed every class.  Now this would still mean he would normally be on track to be a junior, which means going into last year he was already behind (see: failed) some classes as well.  In talking to other teachers that had him briefly last year, it seems as if he was extremely aggresive and angry with the world. 

Had he and other teachers I trust not told me this, I would not have believed it.  Every single day (I see him for a full hour and half each day since he is enrolled in two English classes) he is attentive.  He works well with others.  He asks questions when he doesn't understand (and I mean astute, thought-provoking questions).  He writes maturely, with passion and precision.  He's creative.  But at the same time he's humble.  He works well with others.  His thirst for learning is genuine and not simply to earn the grade.  He's respectful and obedient, but doesn't blindly conform to authority.  He has a sense of moral direction, stepping into a fight (knowing he would get into trouble) to stop a male he didn't know from hitting a female he didn't know. 

I teach his best friend, who he affectionately calls "PegLeg."  PegLeg is not nearly as capable as "Q", but he tries hard.  I'm convinced he has some form of an attention disorder.  They are in different classes, but "Q" goes over to PegLeg's house to wake him up for school everyday.  He double checks with him to make sure he gets the homework for the classes they have together.  "Q" is very much the leader in the relationship, but he won't allow PegLeg to acknowledge it. 

At one point early in the year, I noticed "Q" was reading Tupac's book of poems, "The Rose That Grew From Concrete."  I explained that we were going to do the title poem in a few weeks, and he got excited.  When the day came, it seemed he knew everything I was going to say before I said it.  He told me he wanted to add a rose to his collection of tattoos because of the poem.  A week or two later, "Q" and PegLeg came by to check their grades and during the course of the conversation they explained to me they were trying to come to school forty straight days in a row.  I told them it was an admirable idea, and I would support them by giving them something if they made it.  From that point on, "Q" started to count the days down every day he came into my class.  With about 7 days left, PegLeg got suspended.  Because of me.  He dropped the F-Bomb in class, I wrote him up, and he got 3 days.  "Q" made it.  I bought him the "Tupac: Resurrection" Book that came out recently and gave it too him with an inscription in the front about how he was the type of student that made teachers want to continue teaching.  He said he took it home that night and read the whole thing.

Apparently at some point I had told "Q" to come tell me when he received his ACT score.  I wanted to see what my best student did.  I forgot I had told him this, but he came by last week and not only told me, but showed me his score.  He made a 21 (sadly, one of the highest in the school).  His reading comprehension score was in the 76th percentile (pretty miraculous, considering his background), but his math and science scores were in the 40th percentiles.  I congratulated him, but he wasn't satisfied.  That day, he checked out an ACT book from the library to start studying.  His goal is a 25.  (Just to compare, I run off 3 ACT questions to do with my homeroom every single day.  I go over the answers with them and offer them extra credit.  This is an Honors class of juniors.  I give them 20 minutes to do 3 questions, and they bitch and complain more than any class I have.)

I'm going to miss "Q."  He doesn't have enough credits to graduate this year, even if he passes all his classes (which he will, with A's and B's), but I'm sure he'll be successful in life.

So I'm sure those of you who read my blog regularly (which is probably none of you) have realized that I haven't blogged for while.  I don't think since October.  While I could come up with a multitude of excuses, I'd have to say it's most likely because I have nothing to say.  Things are decent.  For the most part, the kids do what I say.  For the most part, the kids learn the material.  For the most part, the kids are bored or upset that they actually have to do work.  For the most part, I create good lessons.  For the most part, I am respectful and helpful to my students.  For the most part, I'm not enjoying my job.  I think more and more about what I could be doing with my free time.  I'm spending less time outside of school on school work.  I'm becoming progressively more frustrated with the apathy and sheer laziness of my students.  So why haven't I blogged about this?  Because I feel like this is nothing new.  It's been this way for a while. 

At the beginning of the school year,these were the reasons I was so confident and excited about the prospect of changing to a "functional" school district where work ethic is instilled, my students have some sort of background knowledge and exposure to the world, and discipline problems are minimal.  But as the weeks evolved, I realized that while this aspect of my job drains my enthusiasm, there are elements essential to teaching that I detest just as much, if not more.  For example, I HATE that this job never leaves my mind.  Especially after being around family and friends over the holidays that do not have to bring "work" home with them, I realized what a luxury it is.  And no matter where I teach, I'm always going to be worrying about what and how to teach the next day, week, or semester; when I'm going to get the 45 essays I have graded; if I'll be able to turn in my copies on time so that I can give my students the handouts they need; etc., etc.  Also, I LOATHE the bureaucratical crap that comes with my job.  I have to justify, get a form signed for, and analyze the shit out of every move I make.  This will not cease at another school because I will still teach in the public school system (I somehow feel that teaching at a private school is selling out).  These and other aspects of teaching are something that I cannot reconcile, and are the main reason why I'm almost positive I will not be returning to the profession next year.

I love the relationships I've formed.  Which is why I really want to get into some form of public service next year.  I've said from the moment I started this job that it would be the best in the world if I got to hang out with the kids and not be responsible for teaching them when they don't want to be taught. I want to see if there's someway I can find that outlet.  If there's an organization out there that lets you work with students who want to be there, who want to improve themselves, and are not afraid of a little hard work, then I would love to do it.